dear child...
they said you would see the light on September 3rd..
September 3rd passed and so did the 4th, and the 5th.. On September 6th your mother was in pain and everyone thought the day had come for you to land in this world..
your family had waited for you, your mama had carried you with love and great dignity, your papa never showed his feelings but believe me he wanted you so much, your little sister waited for her baby.. and your aunt did everything she could to make your entry into this world the best posible.. and there were many of us who already loved you...
I must confess that many wanted you to be a boy... some said it loud and clear, others in muted ways.. to many, little girls are a burden... in a society where there is less and less respect for women people have forgotten that we women are the life bearers... some of us wanted you to be a girl, your mama for one, maybe she knew you were just that...
You grew up inside your mama's womb and met all the appointments with the doctor who pronounced you fit and healthy.. then child what made you decide not to keep your tryst with our world, what is it that led you to give up life itself... without even 'tasting' it..
Maybe we forget that from the comfort and safety of ones' mother's womb, a child sees and hears and understands.. perhaps it is what you saw that made you refuse life itself.. the lack of respect for each other, the fights, the anger, the unfairness, the tears, ... and quite frankly child, somewhere I understand you... maybe you heard even those who wanted you to be a girl say that they wished you were a boy finding all kind of reasons to explain that...they forgot that it is nature who decides, nature that has to make up for all the little girls that were done away with... and you too were a little girl, nothing could change that..
Perhaps you also knew that the moment you would enter our world, you would lose your independance and freedom to decide, and that you would have to abide by laws made by a society ruled by men and that your life would never be your own...
Who are you: a statistic in the records of the hospital, a pain in the heart of many that will slowly fade away, a regret, a topic of discussions with its share of 'ifs' and 'buts'... I do not know..
To me you are the little girl who refused to be born in a world that she felt was not worthy of her... a child who took her one and only independant decision..
And we abide by it...
Bless you, wherever you are...
Kiran's little sister, Rani's little niece was still born on September 6th 2005...
Labels: girl child